 fortune index all fortunes
| | #6037 | | You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
-- Steven Wright
| | | #6038 | | "You know, it's at times like this when I'm trapped in a Vogon
airlock with a man from Betelgeuse and about to die of asphyxiation in
deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me
when I was young!"
"Why, what did she tell you?"
"I don't know, I didn't listen."
-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
| | | #6039 | | You may already be a loser.
-- Form letter received by Rodney Dangerfield.
| | | #6040 | | You'd better beat it. You can leave in a taxi. If you can't get a taxi, you
can leave in a huff. If that's too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff.
-- Groucho Marx
| | | #6041 | | You're a good example of why some animals eat their young.
-- Jim Samuels to a heckler
Ah, yes. I remember my first beer.
-- Steve Martin to a heckler
When your IQ rises to 28, sell.
-- Professor Irwin Corey to a heckler
| | | #6042 | | FORTUNE'S RANDOM QUOTES FROM MATCH GAME 75, NO. 1:
Gene Rayburn: We'd like to close with a thought for the day, friends ---
something ...
Someone: (interrupting) Uh-oh
Gene Rayburn: ...pithy, full of wisdom --- and we call on the Poet
Laureate, Lipsy Russell
Lipsy Russell: The young people are very different today, and there is
one sure way to know: Kids to use to ask where they came
from, now they'll tell you where you can go.
All: (laughter)
| | | | ... |
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