 |
| #5897 | | I base my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.
-- Gilda Radner
|
|
| #5898 | | I bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house.
-- Steven Wright
|
|
| #5899 | | I cannot overemphasize the importance of good grammar.
What a crock. I could easily overemphasize the importance of good
grammar. For example, I could say: "Bad grammar is the leading cause
of slow, painful death in North America," or "Without good grammar, the
United States would have lost World War II."
-- Dave Barry, "An Utterly Absurd Look at Grammar"
|
|
| #5900 | | "I changed my headlights the other day. I put in strobe lights instead! Now
when I drive at night, it looks like everyone else is standing still ..."
-- Steven Wright
|
|
| #5901 | | I could dance with you till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather
dance with the cows till you come home.
-- Groucho Marx
|
|
| #5902 | | I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that
either.
-- Jack Benny
|
|
| #5903 | | I don't get no respect.
|
|
| #5904 | | I don't kill flies, but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above
globes. They freak out and yell "Whooa, I'm *way* too high."
-- Bruce Baum
|
|
| #5905 | | I don't want to live on in my work, I want to live on in my apartment.
-- Woody Allen
|
|
| #5906 | | I finally went to the eye doctor. I got contacts. I only need them to
read, so I got flip-ups.
-- Steven Wright
|
|
|
| ... |
