fortune index all fortunes

 | #9511 |  | Government [is] an illusion the governed should not encourage. -- John Updike, "Couples"
|  | #9512 |  | Government lies, and newspapers lie, but in a democracy they are different lies.
|  | #9513 |  | Government spending? I don't know what it's all about. I don't know any more about this thing than an economist does, and, God knows, he doesn't know much. -- Will Rogers
|  | #9514 |  | Graduating seniors, parents and friends... Let me begin by reassuring you that my remarks today will stand up to the most stringent requirements of the new appropriateness. The intra-college sensitivity advisory committee has vetted the text of even trace amounts of subconscious racism, sexism and classism. Moreover, a faculty panel of deconstructionists have reconfigured the rhetorical components within a post-structuralist framework, so as to expunge any offensive elements of western rationalism and linear logic. Finally, all references flowing from a white, male, eurocentric perspective have been eliminated, as have any other ruminations deemed denigrating to the political consensus of the moment.
Thank you and good luck. -- Doonesbury, the University Chancellor's graduation speech.
|  | #9515 |  | Great Moments in History: #3
August 27, 1949: A Hall of Fame opened to honor outstanding members of the Women's Air Corp. It was a WAC's Museum.
|  | #9516 |  | Grover Cleveland, though constantly at loggerheads with the Senate, got on better with the House of Representatives. A popular story circulating during his presidency concerned the night he was roused by his wife crying, "Wake up! I think there are burglars in the house." "No, no, my dear," said the president sleepily, "in the Senate maybe, but not in the House."
|  | #9517 |  | Grub first, then ethics. -- Bertolt Brecht
|  | #9518 |  | Hark ye, Clinker, you are a most notorious offender. You stand convicted of sickness, hunger, wretchedness, and want. -- Tobias Smollet
|  | #9519 |  | Has the great art and mystery of politics no apparent utility? Does it appear to be unqualifiedly ratty, raffish, sordid, obscene and low down, and its salient virtuosi a gang of umitigated scoundrels? Then let us not forget its high capacity to soothe and tickel the midriff, its incomparable services as a maker of entertainment. -- H.L. Mencken, "A Carnival of Buncombe"
|  | #9520 |  | Have you noticed the way people's intelligence capabilities decline sharply the minute they start waving guns around? -- Dr. Who
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