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#1431 |  | Too much of everything is just enough. -- Bob Wier
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#1432 |  | Truth is free, but information costs.
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#1433 |  | Two can Live as Cheaply as One for Half as Long. -- Howard Kandel
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#1434 |  | Veni, Vidi, VISA: I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.
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#1435 |  | Very few things actually get manufactured these days, because in an infinitely large Universe, such as the one in which we live, most things one could possibly imagine, and a lot of things one would rather not, grow somewhere. A forest was discovered recently in which most of the trees grew ratchet screwdrivers as fruit. The life cycle of the ratchet screwdriver is quite interesting. Once picked it needs a dark dusty drawer in which it can lie undisturbed for years. Then one night it suddenly hatches, discards its outer skin that crumbles into dust, and emerges as a totally unidentifiable little metal object with flanges at both ends and a sort of ridge and a hole for a screw. This, when found, will get thrown away. No one knows what the screwdriver is supposed to gain from this. Nature, in her infinite wisdom, is presumably working on it.
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#1436 |  | Vests are to suits as seat-belts are to cars.
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#1437 |  | VI: A hungry dog hunts best. A hungrier dog hunts even better. VII: Decreased business base increases overhead. So does increased business base. VIII: The most unsuccessful four years in the education of a cost-estimator is fifth grade arithmetic. IX: Acronyms and abbreviations should be used to the maximum extent possible to make trivial ideas profound. Q.E.D. X: Bulls do not win bull fights; people do. People do not win people fights; lawyers do. -- Norman Augustine
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#1438 |  | Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by spontaneously moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.
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#1439 |  | WARNING TO ALL PERSONNEL:
Firings will continue until morale improves.
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#1440 |  | Waste not, get your budget cut next year.
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