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| #3091 |  | "All God's children are not beautiful.	Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable."
 -- Fran Lebowitz
 
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| #3092 |  | "If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?" -- Lily Tomlin
 
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| #3093 |  | Whom the gods would destroy, they first teach BASIC. 
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| #3094 |  | "Look! There! Evil!.. pure and simple, total evil from the Eighth Dimension!" -- Buckaroo Banzai
 
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| #3095 |  | "I may be synthetic, but I'm not stupid" -- the artificial person, from _Aliens_
 
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| #3096 |  | "The only way I can lose this election is if I'm caught in bed with a dead girl or a live boy."
 -- Louisiana governor Edwin Edwards
 
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| #3097 |  | David Letterman's "Things we can be proud of as Americans": * Greatest number of citizens who have actually boarded a UFO
 * Many newspapers feature "JUMBLE"
 * Hourly motel rates
 * Vast majority of Elvis movies made here
 * Didn't just give up right away during World War II like some
 countries we could mention
 * Goatees & Van Dykes thought to be worn only by weenies
 * Our well-behaved golf professionals
 * Fabulous babes coast to coast
 
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| #3098 |  | "Danger, you haven't seen the last of me!" "No, but the first of you turns my stomach!"
 -- The Firesign Theatre's Nick Danger
 
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| #3099 |  | Pray to God, but keep rowing to shore. -- Russian Proverb
 
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| #3100 |  | "Don't worry about people stealing your ideas.	 If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats."
 -- Howard Aiken
 
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