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| #3741 | | Bagbiter:
1. n.; Equipment or program that fails, usually intermittently. 2.
adj.: Failing hardware or software. "This bagbiting system won't let me get
out of spacewar." Usage: verges on obscenity. Grammatically separable; one
may speak of "biting the bag". Synonyms: LOSER, LOSING, CRETINOUS,
BLETCHEROUS, BARFUCIOUS, CHOMPER, CHOMPING.
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| #3742 | | Bagdikian's Observation:
Trying to be a first-rate reporter on the average American newspaper
is like trying to play Bach's "St. Matthew Passion" on a ukelele.
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| #3743 | | Baker's First Law of Federal Geometry:
A block grant is a solid mass of money surrounded on all sides by
governors.
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| #3744 | | Ballistophobia:
Fear of bullets;
Otophobia:
Fear of opening one's eyes.
Peccatophobia:
Fear of sinning.
Taphephobia:
Fear of being buried alive.
Sitophobia:
Fear of food.
Trichophobbia:
Fear of hair.
Vestiphobia:
Fear of clothing.
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| #3745 | | Banacek's Eighteenth Polish Proverb:
The hippo has no sting, but the wise man would rather be sat upon
by the bee.
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| #3746 | | Banectomy, n.:
The removal of bruises on a banana.
-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
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| #3747 | | Barach's Rule:
An alcoholic is a person who drinks more than his own physician.
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| #3748 | | Barbara's Rules of Bitter Experience:
(1) When you empty a drawer for his clothes
and a shelf for his toiletries, the relationship ends.
(2) When you finally buy pretty stationary
to continue the correspondence, he stops writing.
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| #3749 | | Barker's Proof:
Proofreading is more effective after publication.
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| #3750 | | Barometer, n.:
An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we
are having.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
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