 fortune index all fortunes
| | #3961 | | Epperson's law:
When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably
something his wife can beat him at.
| | | #3962 | | Etymology, n.:
Some early etymological scholars came up with derivations that
were hard for the public to believe. The term "etymology" was formed
from the Latin "etus" ("eaten"), the root "mal" ("bad"), and "logy"
("study of"). It meant "the study of things that are hard to swallow."
-- Mike Kellen
| | | #3963 | | Every Horse has an Infinite Number of Legs (proof by intimidation):
Horses have an even number of legs. Behind they have two legs, and in
front they have fore-legs. This makes six legs, which is certainly an
odd number of legs for a horse. But the only number that is both even
and odd is infinity. Therefore, horses have an infinite number of
legs. Now to show this for the general case, suppose that somewhere,
there is a horse that has a finite number of legs. But that is a horse
of another color, and by the lemma ["All horses are the same color"],
that does not exist.
| | | #3964 | | Every program has (at least) two purposes:
the one for which it was written and another for which it wasn't.
| | | #3965 | | Expense Accounts, n.:
Corporate food stamps.
| | | #3966 | | Experience, n.:
Something you don't get until just after you need it.
-- Olivier
| | | #3967 | | Expert, n.:
Someone who comes from out of town and shows slides.
| | | #3968 | | Extract from Official Sweepstakes Rules:
NO PURCHASE REQUIRED TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE
To claim your prize without purchase, do the following: (a) Carefully
cut out your computer-printed name and address from upper right hand
corner of the Prize Claim Form. (b) Affix computer-printed name and
address -- with glue or cellophane tape (no staples or paper clips) --
to a 3x5 inch index card. (c) Also cut out the "No" paragraph (lower
left hand corner of Prize Claim Form) and affix it to the 3x5 card
below your address label. (d) Then print on your 3x5 card, above your
computer-printed name and address the words "CARTER & VAN PEEL
SWEEPSTAKES" (Use all capital letters.) (e) Finally place 3x5 card
(without bending) into a plain envelope [NOTE: do NOT use the the
Official Prize Claim and CVP Perfume Reply Envelope or you may be
disqualified], and mail to: CVP, Box 1320, Westbury, NY 11595. Print
this address correctly. Comply with above instructions carefully and
completely or you may be disqualified from receiving your prize.
| | | #3969 | | Fairy Tale, n.:
A horror story to prepare children for the newspapers.
| | | #3970 | | Fakir, n:
A psychologist whose charismatic data have inspired almost
religious devotion in his followers, even though the sources
seem to have shinnied up a rope and vanished.
| | | | ... ... |
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