 fortune index all fortunes
| | #4011 | | FORTUNE EXPLAINS WHAT JOB REVIEW CATCH PHRASES MEAN: #9
has management potential:
Because of his intimate relationship with inanimate objects, the
reviewee has been appointed to the critical position of department
pencil monitor.
inspirational:
A true inspiration to others. ("There, but for the grace of God,
go I.")
adapts to stress:
Passes wind, water, or out depending upon the severity of the
situation.
goal oriented:
Continually sets low goals for himself, and usually fails
to meet them.
| | | #4012 | | Fortune's Rules for Memo Wars: #2
Given the incredible advances in sociocybernetics and telepsychology over
the last few years, we are now able to completely understand everything that
the author of an memo is trying to say. Thanks to modern developments
in electrocommunications like notes, vnews, and electricity, we have an
incredible level of interunderstanding the likes of which civilization has
never known. Thus, the possibility of your misinterpreting someone else's
memo is practically nil. Knowing this, anyone who accuses you of having
done so is a liar, and should be treated accordingly. If you *do* understand
the memo in question, but have absolutely nothing of substance to say, then
you have an excellent opportunity for a vicious ad hominem attack. In fact,
the only *inappropriate* times for an ad hominem attack are as follows:
1: When you agree completely with the author of an memo.
2: When the author of the original memo is much bigger than you are.
3: When replying to one of your own memos.
| | | #4013 | | Fourth Law of Applied Terror:
The night before the English History mid-term, your Biology
instructor will assign 200 pages on planaria.
Corollary:
Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except
study for that instructor's course.
| | | #4014 | | Fourth Law of Revision:
It is usually impractical to worry beforehand about
interferences -- if you have none, someone will make one for you.
| | | #4015 | | Fourth Law of Thermodynamics:
If the probability of success is not almost one, it is damn near zero.
-- David Ellis
| | | #4016 | | Fresco's Discovery:
If you knew what you were doing you'd probably be bored.
| | | #4017 | | Fried's 1st Rule:
Increased automation of clerical function
invariably results in increased operational costs.
| | | #4018 | | Friends, n.:
People who borrow your books and set wet glasses on them.
People who know you well, but like you anyway.
| | | #4019 | | Frobnicate, v.:
To manipulate or adjust, to tweak. Derived from FROBNITZ. Usually
abbreviated to FROB. Thus one has the saying "to frob a frob." See TWEAK
and TWIDDLE. Usage: FROB, TWIDDLE, and TWEAK sometimes connote points along
a continuum. FROB connotes aimless manipulation; TWIDDLE connotes gross
manipulation, often a coarse search for a proper setting; TWEAK connotes
fine-tuning. If someone is turning a knob on an oscilloscope, then if he's
carefully adjusting it he is probably tweaking it; if he is just turning it
but looking at the screen he is probably twiddling it; but if he's just
doing it because turning a knob is fun, he's frobbing it.
| | | #4020 | | Frobnitz, pl. Frobnitzem (frob'nitsm) n.:
An unspecified physical object, a widget. Also refers to electronic
black boxes. This rare form is usually abbreviated to FROTZ, or more
commonly to FROB. Also used are FROBNULE, FROBULE, and FROBNODULE.
Starting perhaps in 1979, FROBBOZ (fruh-bahz'), pl. FROBBOTZIM, has also
become very popular, largely due to its exposure via the Adventure spin-off
called Zork (Dungeon). These can also be applied to non-physical objects,
such as data structures.
| | | | ... ... |
art computers cookie definitions education ethnic food fortunes humorists kids law literature love medicine men-women news paradoxum people pets platitudes politics riddles science sports wisdom work |
|
|
| |
 | |  | | You're not logged in! If you don't have an account yet, please register one and get your very own elite (but free) BGA account! |
| |
|  | |  |
| | |
| | |
| |
|
