 fortune index all fortunes
| | #5171 | | The Martian landed his saucer in Manhattan, and immediately upon
emerging was approached by a panhandler. "Mister," said the man, "can I
have a quarter?"
The Martian asked, "What's a quarter?"
The panhandler thought a minute, brightened, then said, "You're
right! Can I have a dollar?"
| | | #5172 | | The mosquito is the state bird of New Jersey.
-- Andy Warhol
| | | #5173 | | The most common given name in the world is Mohammad; the most common
family name in the world is Chang. Can you imagine the enormous number
of people in the world named Mohammad Chang?
-- Derek Wills
| | | #5174 | | The only cultural advantage LA has over NY is that you can make a right
turn on a red light.
-- Woody Allen
| | | #5175 | | The San Diego Freeway. Official Parking Lot of the 1984 Olympics!
| | | #5176 | | The trouble is, there is an endless supply of White Men, but there has
always been a limited number of Human Beings.
-- Little Big Man
| | | #5177 | | The world's most avid baseball fan (an Aggie) had arrived at the
stadium for the first game of the World Series only to realize he had left
his ticket at home. Not wanting to miss any of the first inning, he went
to the ticket booth and got in a long line for another seat. After an hour's
wait he was just a few feet from the booth when a voice called out, "Hey,
Dave!" The Aggie looked up, stepped out of line and tried to find the owner
of the voice -- with no success. Then he realized he had lost his place in
line and had to wait all over again. When the fan finally bought his ticket,
he was thirsty, so he went to buy a drink. The line at the concession stand
was long, too, but since the game hadn't started he decided to wait. Just as
he got to the window, a voice called out, "Hey, Dave!" Again the Aggie tried
to find the voice -- but no luck. He was very upset as he got back in line
for his drink. Finally the fan went to his seat, eager for the game to begin.
As he waited for the pitch, he heard the voice calling, "Hey Dave!" once more.
Furious, he stood up and yelled at the top of his lungs, "My name isn't Dave!"
| | | #5178 | | Then there was the Formosan bartender named Taiwan-On.
| | | #5179 | | There *__is* intelligent life on Earth, but I leave for Texas on Monday.
| | | #5180 | | There are people who find it odd to eat four or five Chinese meals
in a row; in China, I often remind them, there are a billion or so
people who find nothing odd about it.
-- Calvin Trillin
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