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| #5231 | | As he had feared, his orders had been forgotten and everyone had brought
the potato salad.
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| #5232 | | As with most fine things, chocolate has its season. There is a simple
memory aid that you can use to determine whether it is the correct time
to order chocolate dishes: any month whose name contains the letter A,
E, or U is the proper time for chocolate.
-- Sandra Boynton, "Chocolate: The Consuming Passion"
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| #5233 | | Be careful when you bite into your hamburger.
-- Derek Bok
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| #5234 | | BOO! We changed Coke again! BLEAH! BLEAH!
|
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| #5235 | | Boycott meat -- suck your thumb.
|
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| #5236 | | Carob works on the principle that, when mixed with the right combination of
fats and sugar, it can duplicate chocolate in color and texture. Of course,
the same can be said of dirt.
|
|
| #5237 | | Cheese -- milk's leap toward immortality.
-- Clifton Fadiman, "Any Number Can Play"
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| #5238 | | Chinese saying: "He who speak with forked tongue, not need chopsticks."
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| #5239 | | Consider the following axioms carefully:
"Everything's better when it sits on a Ritz."
and
"Everything's better with Blue Bonnet on it."
What happens if one spreads Blue Bonnet margarine on a Ritz cracker? The
thought is frightening. Is this how God came into being? Try not to
consider the fact that "Things go better with Coke".
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|
| #5240 | | Dear Mister Language Person: I am curious about the expression, "Part of
this complete breakfast". The way it comes up is, my 5-year-old will be
watching TV cartoon shows in the morning, and they'll show a commercial for
a children's compressed breakfast compound such as "Froot Loops" or "Lucky
Charms", and they always show it sitting on a table next to some actual food
such as eggs, and the announcer always says: "Part of this complete
breakfast". Don't that really mean, "Adjacent to this complete breakfast",
or "On the same table as this complete breakfast"? And couldn't they make
essentially the same claim if, instead of Froot Loops, they put a can of
shaving cream there, or a dead bat?
Answer: Yes.
-- Dave Barry, "Tips for Writer's"
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