 |
| #5331 | | My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there
are three other people.
-- Orson Welles
|
|
| #5332 | | My favorite sandwich is peanut butter, baloney, cheddar cheese, lettuce
and mayonnaise on toasted bread with catsup on the side.
-- Senator Hubert Humphrey
|
|
| #5333 | | My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.
|
|
| #5334 | | Never drink coke in a moving elevator. The elevator's motion coupled with
the chemicals in coke produce hallucinations. People tend to change into
lizards and attack without warning, and large bats usually fly in the
window. Additionally, you begin to believe that elevators have windows.
|
|
| #5335 | | Never eat anything bigger than your head.
|
|
| #5336 | | Never eat more than you can lift.
-- Miss Piggy
|
|
| #5337 | | No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after
eating one peanut.
-- Channing Pollock
|
|
| #5338 | | Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
-- Charlie Brown
|
|
| #5339 | | Now that you've read Fortune's diet truths, you'll be prepared the next
time some housewife or boutique-owner-turned-diet-expert appears on TV
to plug her latest book. And, if you still feel a twinge of guilt for
eating coffee cake while listening to her exhortations, ask yourself
the following questions:
(1) Do I dare trust a person who actually considers alfalfa sprouts a
food?
(2) Was the author's sole motive in writing this book to get rich
exploiting the forlorn hopes of chubby people like me?
(3) Would a longer life be worthwhile if it had to be lived as
prescribed ... without French-fried onion rings, pizza with
double cheese, or the occasional Mai-Tai? (Remember, living
right doesn't really make you live longer, it just *seems* like
longer.)
That, and another piece of coffee cake, should do the trick.
|
|
| #5340 | | Peanut Blossoms
4 cups sugar 16 tbsp. milk
4 cups brown sugar 4 tsp. vanilla
4 cups shortening 14 cups flour
8 eggs 4 tsp. soda
4 cups peanut butter 4 tsp. salt
Shape dough into balls. Roll in sugar and bake on ungreased cookie
sheet at 375 F. for 10-12 minutes. Immediately top each cookie with a
Hershey's kiss or star pressing down firmly to crack cookie. Makes a
heck of a lot.
|
|
|
| ... ... |
