 |
| #5341 | | Pete: Waiter, this meat is bad.
Waiter: Who told you?
Pete: A little swallow.
|
|
| #5342 | | Peter's hungry, time to eat lunch.
|
|
| #5343 | | Preserve wildlife -- pickle a squirrel today!
|
|
| #5344 | | Prunes give you a run for your money.
|
|
| #5345 | | Put a pot of chili on the stove to simmer. Let it simmer. Meanwhile,
broil a good steak. Eat the steak. Let the chili simmer. Ignore it.
-- Recipe for chili from Allan Shrivers, former governor
of Texas.
|
|
| #5346 | | Put cats in the coffee and mice in the tea!
|
|
| #5347 | | Remember, DESSERT is spelled with two `s's while DESERT is spelled with
one, because EVERYONE wants two desserts, but NO ONE wants two deserts.
-- Miss Oglethorp, Gr. 5, PS. 59
|
|
| #5348 | | RULES OF EATING -- THE BRONX DIETER'S CREED
(1) Never eat on an empty stomach.
(2) Never leave the table hungry.
(3) When traveling, never leave a country hungry.
(4) Enjoy your food.
(5) Enjoy your companion's food.
(6) Really taste your food. It may take several portions to
accomplish this, especially if subtly seasoned.
(7) Really feel your food. Texture is important. Compare,
for example, the texture of a turnip to that of a
brownie. Which feels better against your cheeks?
(8) Never eat between snacks, unless it's a meal.
(9) Don't feel you must finish everything on your plate. You
can always eat it later.
(10) Avoid any wine with a childproof cap.
(11) Avoid blue food.
-- Richard Smith, "The Bronx Diet"
|
|
| #5349 | | Sacred cows make great hamburgers.
|
|
| #5350 | | Save gas, don't eat beans.
|
|
|
| ... ... |
