fortune index all fortunes

 | #6141 |  | Nobody suffers the pain of birth or the anguish of loving a child in order for presidents to make wars, for governments to feed on the substance of their people, for insurance companies to cheat the young and rob the old. -- Lewis Lapham
|  | #6142 |  | On this morning in August when I was 13, my mother sent us out pick tomatoes. Back in April I'd have killed for a fresh tomato, but in August they are no more rare or wonderful than rocks. So I picked up one and threw it at a crab apple tree, where it made a good *splat*, and then threw a tomato at my brother. He whipped one back at me. We ducked down by the vines, heaving tomatoes at each other. My sister, who was a good person, said, "You're going to get it." She bent over and kept on picking. What a target! She was 17, a girl with big hips, and bending over, she looked like the side of a barn. I picked up a tomato so big it sat on the ground. It looked like it had sat there a week. The underside was brown, small white worms lived in it, and it was very juicy. I stood up and took aim, and went into the windup, when my mother at the kitchen window called my name in a sharp voice. I had to decide quickly. I decided. A rotten Big Boy hitting the target is a memorable sound, like a fat man doing a belly-flop. With a whoop and a yell the tomatoee came after faster than I knew she could run, and grabbed my shirt and was about to brain me when Mother called her name in a sharp voice. And my sister, who was a good person, obeyed and let go -- and burst into tears. I guess she knew that the pleasure of obedience is pretty thin compared with the pleasure of hearing a rotten tomato hit someone in the rear end. -- Garrison Keillor, "Lake Wobegon Days"
|  | #6143 |  | One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters. -- George Herbert
|  | #6144 |  | One of the disadvantages of having children is that they eventually get old enough to give you presents they make at school. -- Robert Byrne
|  | #6145 |  | Only adults have difficulty with childproof caps.
|  | #6146 |  | Out of the mouths of babes does often come cereal.
|  | #6147 |  | Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they didn't have much of anything to do with it.
|  | #6148 |  | Please, Mother! I'd rather do it myself!
|  | #6149 |  | Reinhart was never his mother's favorite -- and he was an only child. -- Thomas Berger
|  | #6150 |  | Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you. -- Fran Lebowitz, "Social Studies"
|  |  |  ...           ...   |
 art computers cookie definitions education ethnic food fortunes humorists kids law literature love medicine men-women news paradoxum people pets platitudes politics riddles science sports wisdom work |
|
|
|  | 
 |  |  | You're not logged in! If you don't have an account yet, please register one and get your very own elite (but free) BGA account! |
|  |
|  |  |  |
|  |
|  |
|  |
|